Reflections of a Broken Mind
by IssaLee
Summary: After the battle against Pharaoh 90, Usagi has seemed distant. She refuses to eat, and her friends become worried. They take a trip into her mind, to see what has scared her so awfully. A three-part fic. -COMPLETE-
1. Entrance

This is three-part fic, and the result of too much Evanescence.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. 

**Mamorou:**

No one should ever have to look like that. Like they've just had their souls ripped out and stitched poorly in again.

But her blue eyes, so blue, and so full of sorrow. Why was she drowning in it? Why did she refuse to tell us, to tell me? I was closest to her, she knew, and yet she had blocked it all from me.

Why? The question keeps surfacing. When she came out of wherever she went, with a baby Hotaru in her hands, why did she look like she had been to hell and back? I wasn't there.

But I felt it. I saw it as if I was there, and it pained me to see her staring out as if she had no recognition of her friends. She looked as if…

As if she'd rather be dead.

* * *

**Usagi:**

I can see him. They follow me, to make sure I will not hurt myself. Yesterday it was Minako, before that it was Mako. Today it is his turn. Do they not know I just want to be alone?

The water is so calm. And blue. Blue like his eyes…

But I can see it red, like his blood. All the anger is gone from me now. If I were to die, what I saw would come true. I cannot stand that. I refuse to. Their bodies…

No. I cannot think of it.

I see him walking towards me. It is late; he will take me home. They will try to make me eat. I can't keep anything down. I taste the sulfur every time I try.

I will not be able to hide it for long. But when the time comes that they should know, maybe they will be mature enough to handle life without me.

Then I can sleep. Then, I won't have to wake up every moment, with those damned nightmares still leering over me.

For now, I balance on the edge of the dock. It looks just like I saw it. So peaceful…But I am afraid to turn around. I am afraid that if I do, I will see the horrors again. I long for the water to envelop me; but for now, I must wait.

* * *

**Rei:**

I can see it now. Usagi is walking down the street as if she doesn't really know she's moving. Mamorou-san is holding onto her hand, supporting her.

Minako, Ami, and Makoto stand behind me. The time had come for answers. She has not eaten in weeks; only a few drops of water that we have forced through her lips, and some granola bars she ate.

Minako says she threw them up.

I refuse to believe she is slipping away. But now, as Mamorou practically carries her up the temple steps, my heart stops.

She is so weak. So vulnerable…

"Don't cry, Rei-chan. She will be fine."

I turn to Makoto, surprised. I feel my face; it is wet. When did I start to cry? No matter. Usagi looks confused now, as we walk with her inside the temple.

"I thought…I was going home." Her voice is so soft, so weak.

I can see Minako choke back a sob. Is it too much for her, I wonder? Usagi was too deep in her own world. She cannot see the truth when it is right beneath her eyes.

Mamorou-san makes her sit on the tatami mat, and she blinks slowly. I hold up a cup of tea.

"Drink it, Usagi-chan. It will give you strength. I made it myself!" Can she not hear the false cheeriness of my voice? Can she not see the tears still falling?

But she takes the cup, and looks at its contents.

"Rei-chan…I don't think I can drink it."

"A sip, at least!" I try so hard…Please, for us.

She is not in the least suspicious that she is the only one with the tea. Sighing, she takes a small gulp. Her eyelids droop.

"Rei-chan…what did you put in it?"

I don't want t hear it. The way her voice sounds, like she is accusing me. I am only trying to help her.

"No…" Her eyes are wide now. "No! I don't want to sleep!"

But her body is falling backwards, and Mamorou-san must catch her. Her eyes are glassy; but she is only about to sleep. Why does it feel like she is about to die?

She struggles; the most movement we have seen from her since that blasted fight. Then her body goes numb, and she stops. She gasps, and her chest begins to rise and fall evenly. Her eyes close, slowly, so slowly.

"Gomen, Usagi-chan." I mumble, as she slips away to her sleep.

We all henshin, and Mamorou-san becomes Endymion. We take her to the small room where the Great Fire is. I sit in front of it, and close my eyes. I must help her. Endymion is already trying his link. May the Gods favor us.

I hear a whooshing noise. We are all suddenly spun out of whack. There is a thud. I realize it is my body, and lift my head.

We are no longer at the temple. We are in Usagi's mind, to see what troubles her so. We cannot help her; we must only watch.

I recognize this. It is the dock. We are all facing the waters. Everything seems fine, calm and tranquil. Then we stand, and turn. I say nothing, my mouth hanging open.

It is Minako's scream that startles us from our silence. We have entered hell indeed.


	2. Inside

Ok, I know this may sound super angsty, but this chapter will lead to good things, I swear it minna-chan! Remember, never drink the red stuff in the fridge and listen to Evanescence at the same time, fics like this are the result of it. Oh, and to Midnight-Nemesis: I know I got the eyes thin from someone else, but the others; let's say I have these really demented Sailor Moon obsessed friends, who call me up and give me ideas. Thanks for alerting me that you'd seen it before! I'll give them hell for it… I hate writing non-original stuff, but this really got me in. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.

**Minako:**

"What kind of horror is this?" I gasped out, after screaming. The city, Tokyo, was rubble. Bodies hung limply from skyscrapers, and it was deathly still. I was afraid.

"We have to find Usagi."

I turned to Mars, who had spoken.

"But she's outside! We're in her mind!"

Mars shivered. It scared her to think that Usagi had been living with this for the two weeks since the battle. It cared me too, but we had to save her, take her away from it all.

"There is an Usagi in her mind, one that has been wandering these awful places."

"Mars," Mercury spoke. "Is this what Usagi saw, when she went inside of Pharaoh 90?"

Mars hesitated, then nodded. "Hai."

I knew where Mercury was going with this.

"So if she keeps re-creating what happened then, we have to do everything she did. It will lead us to her, and hopefully she'll help us end this hellish nightmare."

Endymion seemed to be at a loss for words. I could see the sweat beads on his forehead, and I knew this was affecting him horribly. A sleeping Usagi couldn't block him from her mind.

"Let's go then!" I forced my voice to be cheery. "For Usagi-chan!"

There was a round of barely audible 'hai's', and we began to pick our way through the decimated city.

I fingered my chain nervously. This was awful.

"Where would Usagi-chan go first?" I had to speak, and draw everyone out of his or her trance-like state. Jupiter looked down from where she was contemplating the purplish sky.

"The arcade." We immediately took off, not wanting to stay. I tried my best to ignore the traffic cop who looked like he had been running away. His clothing hung in tatters round his body, and I sucked in my breath as I saw his skeleton smile eerily at me.

"You ok, V-babe?"

I smiled at Mercury.

"Of course. There's the arcade. Let's go."

We entered, and I was shocked by the silence. No tinkling bells alerted a cheery blond of our presence.

"Motoki…" Endymion's almost groan brought me away from my daydream. I had to bite my chain to keep from screaming again.

He was always holding onto the rag, even now as its ends curled together, half burnt. His apron had fallen off, unable to stay on his bones any longer with most of it gone. His skeleton was bleached white, and he seemed to be scrambling over the counter.

"Damn them…damn them for making her see this!" I was so surprised to find it was I yelling those words. Me wishing for vengeance. I was trembling now, and could barely walk away from it all.

I looked around. A group of girls had huddled in the corner booth, and one of them had her head half-tilted to a boy, as if flirting. Their bones were set at odd angles, almost as if they were all about to collapse.

I managed to get out. The others followed me.

"Were to now?" My voice was quiet, slightly shaky.

"The school, then her house. Then we can check ours." Tuxedo Kamen answered me. I nodded listlessly, and we set off again.

I couldn't go into the school. Mercury and Mars were the only ones, and they only stood in the front. Mercury scanned the building, and found none of Usagi's signature, so we left pretty quickly. They seemed shaken though. It seems as if several students had been dashing for the doorway when they were hit.

The Tsukino house was different. There was no house. Her enemies seemed to have taken great joy in getting rid of those who harbored her so long, and so lovingly. Most of us ended up retching in the bushes when we found her parents' bodies. I refuse to go into details.

My house was closest. I didn't want to go in. I didn't want to find the horrors. But I had to; for Usagi-chan. I walked in, and I screamed.

**

* * *

Ami:**

Venus' scream freaked us all out of our wits, but no one ventured in. She came out a moment later, and her chain was back on her belt.

"They were hung." He only words, and yet they sounded like death tolls. Endymion's apartment came next, as the road to and a truck pile blocked off my house and Mars'.

He had no family, but it was still a shock. Several of his friends, ones from college and so on, were at his apartment. They were setting up for a surprise party; he had won an award from his University.

They had not noticed when they were killed. We were glad that at least they had been killed quickly, if not painlessly.

I was afraid, when we got to my house. I refused for any one of them to come with me. I could have scanned it to see if Usagi was there, but I wanted to see.

It sickens me. I walked into the house, and searched the rooms. I found nothing. Then I heard the water.

I've always loved water; ice is better, but water gave me a special feeling. Sailor Neptune and I, we had shared many a race or talk because of it.

The water drew me in, and I couldn't help but wonder, shouldn't they have turned it off by now? A stupid thought, I know. Everyone was dead, everyone was gone.

It was coming from my mother's bathroom. I marched in, feeling slightly better as I forced myself to be strong. Then I pushed open the door, and my whole world fell apart.

"Mama…" She was lying in the water, and her swimsuit was on. She would have looked so alive, had she not been a pile of bones.

I walked across the bathroom, ignoring the water swirling past my feet and gurgling happily on the carpet of her room. I kneeled next to the bathtub.

"Hi, Mama. I want you to know, I'm a sailor senshi, and I love you." The things I had wanted her to know before she died. I steeled myself; this was not real. It was merely an illusion. But it took all my strength to walk away.

They looked at me, searching for a sign.

"She was in the bathtub. No signs of struggle." My voice was calm, thank the Gods. We headed down the street, to Jupiter's.

**

* * *

Jupiter:**

My apartment seemed normal. It really did. But I stepped inside, and I found her. My landlady, who had been like a surrogate mother to me. She had held me as I cried, long into the nights.

She was slumped over my kitchen table, and her skull had a huge dent in it. I was above crying, I felt. Above it, because it was not real.

I stumbled over my next-door neighbor's remains, and down a stairway filled with those in my life. When I got to the front, the tears were there. I shook my head. No Usagi.

Mars' temple was next. We had all cried. I hoped she would not. When we got there, we saw the great Hikawa Shrine, looking as if no evil had ever visited it.

Besides a bloody sky and bar cheery trees, there was nothing to suggest any dead. We all followed behind Mars, until she got to the sliding doors. She opened them. There was silence for a moment, and then she was on her knees. She sounded as if she was hurt, but her sobs were meaningless now.

I now she expected to find Chad (A/N: Forgive me, I can't spell his Japanese name for my life.) and her grandfather. I had seen them, or rather their shadows, perched against the main temple.

But she had seen it too, of that I was sure. What drew her here, to the one section where we had always held our sleepovers? A hope that Usagi was here, maybe.

I stepped in after her, and I felt myself falling.

We had been having tea, apparently. The scene was laid out before us. Our bodies were not skeletons. Our flesh was still tinted pink.

I felt anger rise in me. They had toyed with her. They had made her think we were alive, and she had shaken us, for hours probably.

Rei-chan had an ofuda out, but she was lying on the floor. There was dried blood on her jaw line, and I shivered as the others stepped in. She had had her energy sucked away.

Ami-chan had a small hole in her stomach, and we could see the blood from that had dried around it. A bullet hole; how trivial for the Dark ones.

Minako-chan's chain was tied around her neck, and I heard her gasp behind me. In the very back, I saw Mamorou-san. He had his arms wrapped around something, as if he was trying to protect it. A black rose pierced his heart. I stepped up and moved his arm back.

My heart stopped, and I threw up on the tatami mat as I saw Chibiusa's pale face staring back at me.

**

* * *

Mamorou:**

We had never run so fast in our lives, I'm sure. It hurt us all, and when we collapsed, every one of us was sobbing loudly.

My tear-filled eyes looked up, and I realized we were at the base of Tokyo Tower, or what remained of it. My head hurt, as did my heart.

We would not have moved. We did not want to.

**

* * *

Reader:**

A flash of gold passed the bedraggled people, and they looked up, startled as they saw Super Sailor Moon in front of them.

"Usagi?" Sailor Venus called out.

Sailor Moon did not turn. She seemed to be panting heavily, and only one Odango remained in her hair. Her outfit was ripped and bloodied, sullied by her wounds.

She fell to her knees, not looking at them. Mars made as if to move to her, but was topped as Sailor Moon was suddenly enveloped in pinkish red blobs.

They looked like the daemons, right before they took on a form. They looked like the ones that they had fought, when Usagi had been inside of Pharaoh 90. But each one had their faces, and that of various people in her life.

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME, MOMMY?" A horrible looking Chibiusa roared at her, and she let out a cry.

"YOU IGNORE ME! DO YOU HATE ME?" Naru was shouting in her ear.

"YOU'RE AN AWFUL DAUGHTER! I HATE YOU!" Ikuko was screaming.

"WE DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE!" Mars sobbed wildly as she saw herself leering in front of Usagi.

"I DON'T LOVE YOU!" Endymion couldn't move as his face brought her down.

"YOU'RE SO STUPID!" Mercury felt sick as she saw Sailor Moon crumble under a creature that looked like her.

"YOU'RE WORTH NOTHING!" Jupiter tore at her hair, desperate to not hear herself saying such cruel words.

"I SHOULD HAVE BEEN LEADER! YOU'LL KILL US!" Venus' eyes were hollow, and she avoided the scene in front of her.

Sailor Moon hugged her body. She could not kill creations with her best friends features.

"Where are you?" She was whispering, but they heard it. "Where are you?"

"MARS FLAME SNIPER!"

"MERCURY AQUA RHAPSODY!"

"JUPITER THUNDER DRAGON!"

"VENUS LOVE AND BEAUTY SHOCK!"

The blobs fell back, and Endymion held a trembling Sailor Moon in his arms.

"Shh…it's ok, we're here. Please, Usako, we don't want to hurt you."

She shook violently, but did not struggle. Her eyes went down to her arms, as did the senshi's. They gasped. A baby Hotaru looked innocently back at them.

"They were going to kill her, so I took her away, and gave her some of my power to keep her alive. She reverted." Sailor Moon rasped out. Then, a half smile lit her face. "Thank you for coming."

There was a burst of light from her, and the senshi fell to their knees. They were swimming in darkness, all of them, until a purple suited senshi was suddenly there.

"Thank you for helping her." Sailor Saturn smiled. "She needed you, and not us. You are closer to her. We will be watching you."

And once more, they succumbed to the murkiness.

Ok, minna, one chapter after this and I'm done. Tell me what you think, ok? I have the other chapter set up; I just need to fix a few things. Don't worry, it's uploaded!


	3. Exit

Ok, last chapter. (Grins like a maniac.) I beaned all those who gave me the idea for this. Although it is a good fic, they did take a few things from someone else, and for that I say gomen! And Arigatou to Midnight-Nemesis for alerting me…I had a nice…talk…with them, ok?

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.

**Usagi:**

If you open your eyes slowly, I believe that any sort of pain you have will be gone. Or, it will multiply tenfold. The latter was sadly, choosing to stay with me.

I groaned miserably, and found a hand pressing a warm cup of tea into mine. Remembering what had happened last time I accepted, I shook my head, no.

"Drink it, Usagi-chan. I guarantee there's no sleeping powder in it."

I recognized the voice, and struggled to get through my blurry vision.

"Hotaru-chan? You're back?" She laughed, and I saw her wave of dark hair shake.

"You sound so happy. Iie, I'm not back. Your friends know only that I helped them, but they do not know I was here. Do not tell them, Usagi-chan."

"How come?" I sat up groggily and began to drink the tea. I found Hotaru to be in her Sailor Saturn form.

"They need not know; it was not important. I just wanted to say, you'll see us again."

"Chibiusa missed you terribly." The words slipped from my tongue before I could stop them, and I saw her wince.

"She may have now, and I regret I didn't get to fade away from her slowly. But in the future…" a soft smile lit her face. "In the future, we see each other every day." A giggle fell from her mouth. "I think she is courting a young lord. You know him not, but you will soon. His name is Helios."

My brow furrowed. "Courting? At her age?"

Saturn shook in silent laughter. "Setsuna took me to the future once. When we got there it was farther then you've been. Chibiusa is Chibiusa no longer. They call her Princess Usa. She has grown up wondrously."

"And you, Hotaru-chan?"

There was a faint blush tinting her cheeks. "I will meet someone. With glorious white hair, and a smile he says only I can bring out of him. But you do not know of him yet, either."

I sighed. "It seems there is much more to come. Will I be able to stand it all?" Hotaru smiled.

"With friends like yours, of course. Until we meet again." And I was left, alone in the room.

"I swear, she reminds me so much of Pluto it's not even funny. Same cryptic language and everything…"

The teacup, now empty, fell from my sleepy hands and landed on the soft sheets. I closed my eyes. A nap would do me good. I suddenly felt exhausted.

Would Hotaru have lied and put sleeping powder in my tea?

But my lips crease in a smile. How can one so innocent lie? Unbeknownst to me, she is listening to my thoughts, and she grins at my words. She walks into a small portal behind her, muttering something.

"Senshi of Death and Destruction and I'm still innocent?"

In my sleep, I smile.

**

* * *

Chibiusa:**

Mommy sent me back to the past so I could visit Usagi-chan and Mamorou-san for a while. They seemed happy to see me, although Usagi-chan looked weak.

I sat down and took her hands, and I put my hand on top of hers. She smiles at me, knowing I am trying to see how much longer I have until I am old like her.

I ask her sometimes, how long it takes to grow up. She always answers the same way.

"Grow up? I'm not grown up yet. Neo-Queen Serenity isn't even grown up yet. We're all kids at heart, don't you think?" And she leaves it at that.

Silly Usagi-chan. She wants us all to be happy, and she always avoids the answers that would make us sad. But I know she's sad sometimes.

How can you help it, being so good?

I asked her that too, and I saw her sad face. "It's not easy. But you do it out of love."

She doesn't know I know. She doesn't know that every time I tell her a new story about how I did something and it's all because she saved the world and I got to be born, it's to make her happy. I saw what she saw. I didn't mean too, but when I had the ginzouishou and Mommy was showing me how to use it once…

Some things seen aren't meant to be seen.

But I don't mind. It's easier to love Usagi when you know what's in her mind. She sees a lot of things, and I can see them too. It's a mother daughter thing, I think.

She's looking at me now, with her sad face. I stand on my tippy toes to reach her and I kiss her cheek. She looks surprised, but then she smiles, and Mamorou-san comes to take us for ice cream.

I don't see her sad faces much anymore. I like to think my kiss scared them away. I know she saw something when I kissed her, and it makes her happy. I don't mind that it may not be me.

Sad faces aren't meant to be on her face, don't you think?

I love that ending… It gave me an idea for a fic. Look for it, I bet you it comes out before Monday. Probably one shot. Tell me what you think, ok?


End file.
